Party Hard Against Terrorism

At the risk of belittling an extremely grave and horrifying situation, I think it might be time to start “celebrating” terrorist attacks. Before you dismiss this notion as callous and slightly insane, please continue reading.

In the aftermath of multiple coordinated explosions in London yesterday, it’s vividly apparent that despite stringent security measures, increased vigilance, armed conflicts and political appeasement, terrorists will strike whenever and wherever they can. Their mission demands it.

Terrorists are human beings who have been weaponized by fanatical political/religious leaders who are still fighting the ancient wars of their people. These leaders have morphed their followers into single-minded machines fueled by a crude ideology that simply doesn’t fit into a modern context. There is really no way to defeat them or convince them that their grudges should have expired long ago, as their unreasonable hatred is contained within an isolated fiction.

But just as they can never be defeated, they will never have the ability to win. Since their battles are being fought through a virtual interpretation of the world, their strategy ultimately has no effect on reality. This stalemate will probably go on for decades, if not longer. Terrorists don’t have the manpower or weaponry to stage a full-scale invasion, and even if they obtain nuclear or biological weapons (if they haven’t already) they will only have limited effectiveness.

 Since only an extreme minority of the world population shares their views, they can never recruit enough people to make a difference. A good exercise is to consider the ratio of the total number of terrorists worldwide to how many are killed (either in their own suicide attacks or by military action) or arrested each year, then compare this with the ratio of their victims versus the population of the civilized world. You’ll see that even the most deadly terrorist attack is at most a weak, desperate blow against humanity.

The only true power terrorists wield is fear, and the only way to fight them is by downplaying this fear and, over time, moderating the ideologies that drive their hatred. Fortunately, the civilized world stands against terrorism, and I believe that over time this sensibility will seep into the ranks of terror groups and dampen the fury.

This is why I’m proposing the idea of “celebrating” terrorist attacks. We could throw parties after each attack to grieve the loss of innocent life, while at the same time celebrating the thought that those lives were lived in a free and open society. We could celebrate the struggle for democracy and liberty around the world, and take comfort in the notion that any deaths from a terrorist attack are in effect a noble defense of our beliefs. The mere act of going about our lives in a civil manner then becomes a brave defiance of their barbaric ideology.

A celebration with thoroughly modern food, drink and music would also be a symbolic slap in the face to those who seek to drag humankind backwards in time. We would be responding to their acts of terror not with the fear that they intend, but with indifference to their cause and with a mocking, nose-thumbing mirth. If we party hard enough to overcome the fearful effects of terrorism and to buoy the souls of those we have lost in the struggle, perhaps the terrorists will begin to wake from their vulgar fantasy and emerge from the darkness of their safe houses.

Then they’ll surrender to the fun.

If this gets you fired up, you ought to stop, drop and roll over to The Issue Box!


2 Responses

  1. I think this is a great idea! Only with the use of humor, shame, and happiness will we finally win against this monstrosity. Not only should we celebrate, we should actively make fun of this silly mentality in terms their culture will understand, then pipe it into their homes. The truth will out!

  2. It was just reported that four bombers died as a result of the attacks in London. How really can security forces, etc. stop people willing to die executing such plots and plans? I believe you’re right. We need to laugh at them and rob them of the so-called dignity they receive by giving up their lives for this cause.

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