This Sith Is Bananas

OK, Episode 3 has been out for a while now and everyone has had their say, so I might as well throw in my 2 credits:  It was extremely fast-moving, entertaining and a nice bridge between the prequels and all that follows (story wise, that is). For purposes of criticism, I like to separate all the Star Wars movies into three categories: 

  1. Episode 4 is a classic movie that resides in it’s very own category, and it will always stand above all the others.

  2. The Sequels — Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back is the obvious favorite here, while Episode 6 suffers from severe pacing problems, repetitiveness and incurable cuteness, and is redeemed only by the grandeur of Anakin’s redemption.

  3. The Prequels — They’re all too technologically advanced to be compared fairly with The Sequels, but Episode 3 is definitely the most focused and interesting of the bunch.

The biggest disappointment for me was the lack of emotional impact at the end, which was partially caused by the fact that I never liked Anakin enough to care what happens to him. The other problem was that Lucas fumbled again with the love story and reduced Padme to a wax figure staring out the window. At this point, rather than contributing yet another lengthy and rambling fanboy review to the noisy Web, here are my short lists of pros and cons:


–Lack of emotional impact toward the end because no sympathy was
generated for Padme. She just stared out the window the whole time!
Should’ve shown her doing something for her “baby”, or maybe C3PO
could’ve thrown her a shower (or thrown her IN the shower)!

–I usually don’t mind the bad acting in Star Wars, but it
almost sunk a few scenes here. Mostly the Anakin/Padme scenes and the
Windu/Palpatine duel.

–Darth Vader screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” was extra cheesy.

–Grievous busts out a window with his sizzle stick thing, yet
the same windows withstand the heat of re-entry when they crash.

–As in the first 2 prequels, the humor was flat and some of the
robot voices were too silly.

–Contrary to what we’ve seen before, now all of a sudden R2D2
can hop out of spaceships unaided.


–Best effects and coolest hardware ever!

–Moved quickly and tied things up perfectly.

–Yoda & R2 kicked butt superbly.

–The opening battle, Yoda’s battle with the Sith Lord in the
congressional chamber & the Big Showdown in lava.

–Best Dramatic Impact–the sequence where all Jedi are
being exterminated one by one.

–Had 3 good villains: Palpatine/Sith Lord, Grievous &

–Spaceships and snippets of dialog from Episode 4.

–Chewbacca’s back!

–A quadriplegic is set on fire and left to die–how non-PC is
that???  Evil poking.

Now, what’s your prediction for how long it’ll be before Lucas allows an Episode 7?


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